I have a Teacher's Devotional that I read every night before I go to bed. My quiet time with God is before bed. I cannot do it in the morning - I do not like mornings, I actually despise them. I love crawling in my bed at night and picking up my devotional and spending time in prayer with the lights off. This devotional has been crucial this past year. Everytime I am struggling with something, I swear I pick it up and the devotion for that day is about exactly what I need it to be on. Its crazy insane. I love how God works like that. Its so incredible.
Two nights ago, I picked it up and this is what I read:
"The plans of the diligent certainly lead to profit, but anyone who is reckless only becomes poor." - Proverbs 21:5
The occasional disappointments and failures of life are inevitable. Such setbacks are simply the price that we must occasionally pay for our willingness to take risks as we follow our dreams. But even when we encounter bitter disappointments, we must never lose faith.
The reassuring words of Hebrews 10:36 remind us that when we preserve, we will eventually receive that which God has promised. What's required is perseverance, not perfection.
When we encounter the inevitable difficulties of life-here-on-earth, God stands ready to protects us. Our responsibility, of course, is to ask Him for protection. When we call upon Him in heartfelt prayer, He will answer-in His own time and according to His own plan-and He will heal us. And, while we are waiting for God's plans to unfold and for Hid healing touch to restore us, we can be comforted in the knowledge that our Creator can overcome any obstacle, even if we cannot.
Wow. If you know me, or have been reading this blog at all, you know that this year has been very difficult for me. I had to leave a job I felt very comfortable and got a job completely out of my comfort zone. This has been the most difficult thing I have done in my life. It is emotionally and physically draining. I have felt like a failure so many times this year. There are times I left school not knowing if ONE kid learned anything that day.
When I read this, tears almost dripped down my face. I felt like all the weight of this year lifted off my shoulders. It is so exhausting trying to get children to respond to you when they want to do the complete opposite. All the while, trying to do my very best to teach them everything that they are supposed to know before going into 7th grade. Its so exhausting. I rest in the peace of knowing God is here to protect me and he wants me to persevere, he doesn't want me to be perfect. He has a plan and a purpose for this year. I already know that I have made relationships with students - which at the beginning of the year seemed impossible. And that - TO ME - is more important than anything that happened in a textbook. Having a child KNOW that you care and love them who doesn't get love at home is what I set out to do back in August. Yes, the tests and scores and courses of study are so unbelievably important, but I am a teacher who believes in relationships as well. I believe that I need to be a positive role model for children who don't have one. And most of mine don't.
God has shown me smiles and laughs the past few weeks which is so needed. He has revealed that He is the only one who I need to impress in the long run of eternity. He has helped my heart stay happy and helped me stay positive when the devil has tried to knock me down. He has restored my broken heart and soul.
I am so glad I picked up my devotional and read this passage the other night. What a blessing God's words are to us.