Tuesday, April 26, 2011

the question i've been dreading....

Student: I'm not coming to this school next year!! (in a very bad mood voice - she had just spent the day in ISS)

Me: Where ya gonna go?

Student: I dont know. Are you gonna be here next year Ms. Alfano?

Me: I'm moving to Birmingham. You know I go up there alot.

Student: Oh no, then I'm DEFINITELY not coming to school here next year.

(my heart melts)

Me: I won't be your teacher next year anyways.

Student: I know, but I would come visit you all the time.

(my heart melts again)

I have been dreading my students asking me this question. A few asked a couple of weeks ago and I avoided the question, pretending I didn't hear them. I will probably be answering lots of questions tomorrow considering news goes around those children faster than anything I've ever seen.

I have come so far with most of my students (especially in my homeroom) and I must admit that I have been getting sad to leave them. Its so odd to think I won't ever see them again. And I desperately need to know that they are going to be okay.

Last year, I didn't know I was leaving until 2 days before school got out and it was such a whirlwind after that, I never really had these feelings. I thought it was weird that I was getting a new class, but I was such a wreck those last 2 days, it never really sunk in that I would never see them again.

This year is also different because I worry about them more. Most come from rough backgrounds and I worry about them. Worry what they see, do, hear, experience, etc.

This time every year, EVERY teacher is so ready for summer, as am I. I have had a countdown for some time now. However, knowing I'm leaving this year, I've had a weird feeling lately. I want it to be summer and I am so ready for this next phase in my life, yet I have started to get sad about leaving. I love the people I work with and I have grown to love these children. They test me EVERY SINGLE SECOND of every single day, but its worth it when a child who you never thought would open up to you, tells you they love you all the time.

I know I will move on and worry about them less as the next phase in my life starts, but for now, I'm enjoying my last days with these children who have taught me more about life & teaching than I could have EVER imagined. This was by far the hardest year of my life, but somehow has had the best rewards in the end.

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