Wednesday, October 14, 2009

melt my heart

so the first months of school are over...and i will admit, they were hard. very hard. nothing could have prepared me for being a teacher. NOTHING. not one class, not one practicum placement, not one day of internship. nothing. i kept waiting on someone to walk in and tell me what to do...because that's all i knew. but no, thats not what happened. i had to realize it was MY classroom, MY time, MY kids, and MY responsibility. and what a responsibility it is. making sure that all 16 of them get the best education possible. not to mention its my job to make sure they can read. thats the most stressful aspect of 1st grade if you ask me. math not so much....and i love math so i love teaching math...its a breeze to me. but making sure i teach every one of them how to thats stressful. i have been trying SO hard lately not to stress....and i have gotten better, i really have. but those first months were hard. i was so stressed all the time...trying to make sure i am doing everything right. not to mention all the paperwork that is associated with being a teacher. i have PILES of paper on every desk in my room. my desk, my small group desk, shelves, and a random table i have in the back of the room. there is paper EVERYWHERE! and so many papers to fill out! if there werent paperwork, id be a happy teacher :). and on top of all this, i was pretty much sick the whole month of september it felt like. and i got so stressed because i didnt understand why i had to be so sick right when i started this new job. my principal was so understanding which i am so greatful for! anyways, after all the hard days i had, i feel like i have come so far. my kids and i have finally settled in with each other which feels so good. i know all their issues, problems, what makes them happy, what makes them mad, how to get them to behave, what to bribe them with, what makes them laugh, what their favorite subject is, and so on! i have learned SO much, i can't even put into words. nothing before actually doing it would have taught me how to be a good teacher. nothing. i just had to learn it myself. and i still have SOOO much to learn. i know each year will get easier and easier, which i am looking forward to.

anyways, this week i had a "melt my heart" as a teacher moment. it was one of those moments that only teachers know what it feels like. it made me realize how much i love being a teacher and how much this is the PERFECT profession for me. so, my horrible kid....he is so bad. but he is one of those kids that you just HAVE to love. his smile makes my heart smile. his laugh makes me laugh. he is so bad, but so precious. he makes me so angry but i just have to love him. i know he doesnt get any love at home and it breaks my heart. he tells me EVERY day, "i luh you" (translation, i love you). anyways, his big brother who is a 3rd grader was reading to our class yesterday afternoon and he (my kid) was whining about something, distracting everyone. so i quietly told him to come over to me and he sat in my lap and laid his head down on my shoulder and sat there the whole time and listened to his brother read. i just held him and rubbed his back to calm him down. needless to say it made my heart melt. i dont know what it was about that moment but i just love those moments. :)

well, i know this has been long but i just have to say what a GREAT weekend i had last weekend. i went home and it was jeri's homecoming. friday night i met my parents at harrison for the game. ohhh the memories!!!! i felt so old. it was kinda sad. when did i grow up? i mean seriously, i feel like last year i was a senior in high school. crazy how time flies. anyways, saturday we did the whole homecoming thing with jeri and i also got to spend time with jessica which was wonderful! we went and got a pedicure, which was much needed. ty says its a waste of money but i think it was a pretty awesome treat for myself! saturday night me and mom and dad ate dinner in front of the big screen watching football. it was simply amazing. relaxing and spending time with my wonderful parents! oh and not to mention BAMA won saturday :). oh and we're #2 now!!! sunday i got to see old friends at church which always makes me happy. all in all, a wonderful weekend! i am looking forward to this weekend too....bama's homecoming game...i get to see my friend stefanie who cheers for south carolina, and jessica might be coming!

2 days til the weekend...

happy hump day!

(pictures of jeri's senior homecoming will be posted soon!)


  1. I have a lot of respect for you as a teacher! My mom was one for years so I know it's not an easy job! You are making a big difference in these kids' lives :) You're awesome and I'm glad all is going well!

  2. You are so right, nothing can prepare you for teaching except for actually being a teacher! I think I learned more in my 1st year of teaching than I did in all 4 years of college.
    I agree about the paperwork, it's insane!
    I'm so glad that you realize that your "bad" kid is the one who needs the most love and even though he gets on your last nerve, he really needs you to be patient with him. I can think of a couple of my former students who really needed me to love them instead of always being on their case...I wish I would have realized that while I was teaching them!
    Sounds like a fun weekend, Jeri looked so pretty!